take our hands out of control

This entire week I have been living with a family during the billeting phase of Katimavik. For lack of a better word, it has been interesting. It is definitely a shock moving in to a completely strange place, away from the 9 amazing friends I have made and lived with for the past 2 months. Not only that, but I had to move to Wainfleet, which is about a 30 minute drive from the Katima-house and from Port Colborne, the small city that I have grown so attached to. However, the family I am with has been very kind and generous, and they also own 2 horses on their property. Despite the fact that they are quite religious and I feel pressured to go to church with them, it has been a good experience, but I am ready to move back into the Katima-house tomorrow.

This past week I've been really reflecting on my placement at Second Chance, the relationships I've made, and the risks I've taken and am overall quite happy with the outcome. Part of me regrets being so shy at my work placement to begin with, but at the same time... that is who I am, right? I am shy at first, and it was quite intimidating. I am proud to say that I have made breakthroughs with the students and have come out of my shell a lot, which I feel is setting me up very well for my next two placements in Nova Scotia and Alberta. I'm learning a great deal about who I am as a human being, as Meaghan Wray. I'm realizing that I am capable of much bigger things then I ever imagined.

Now, thinking about my first placement and how fast it is going and how soon I will have to leave Port Colborne and everything I've grown comfortable with, I'm realizing what I will have accomplished here. This first placement is really teaching me how to say goodbye, and how to let go and accept the pain as not just something BAD. Pain doesn't have to be bad. This particular pain shows me that I am capable of making relationships, and not being afraid to make connections with people in fear of having a tearful goodbye. My life is going to be filled with many goodbyes, especially in the next 7 months, and to be able to deal with them is going to be a huge step.