Billeting #2

I just arrived at my second billet home yesterday evening, and I love them already. The great thing about billeting is that you really get to know a local family, and I get to improve on my adapting skills. They are such a kind-hearted group of people, and I can't wait to get to know them better. I've been quite sick recently, so I wasn't able to go out with them this weekend, which I'm really disappointed about, but hopefully I'll have other opportunities. Their grandchildren live with them as well, and I'll be helping out at her granddaughters birthday party on Saturday, so that should be fun!

Billeting makes me a little nervous about going home in June. B

ecause I've been surrounded by 10+ people all the time, there is always something to do and always someone to talk to. Back home, I would go out with my friends but I was also content just sitting around at home. At this point in my life, I don't really enjoy doing that anymore. I found myself getting bored easily and feeling the need to do something, but getting frustrated when I couldn't find something to do. However, I got halfway through "Into The Wild" in one day... I think Katimavik is making me a faster reader, and giving me a greater thirst for knowledge.

But, as I was saying, I hope I'll be able to find things to do at home. Like I said, I'm nervous about not having a group of people around me all the time, as I've grown so accustomed to it. However, at the same time, maybe that is one thing I subconsciously looked for in Katimavik... to ignite my drive to DO something.

I find myself quite turned off by TV now. I no longer want to watch it. In fact, it's become almost an annoyance. I did watch some of the Olympics today but, not being a huge hockey fan, I turned to A&E and watched one of those lame detective shows (that claim to be realistic, but what reality they refer to I d

on't know.) I found I couldn't just turn my brain off like I used to be able to. Instead of just vegging out, every so often I would think... what else could I be doing with this time?

So, here's to a new goal for post-Katimavik: find replacements for easy boredom-fixers.

What I'd like to do this summer:

- write, compose, and record music

- read challenging books (

W

ar and Peace, Solitude, White Fang, and those alike)

- research things that interest me

- take photography more seriously (i.e., consciously pack my camera and set out to take planned, and spontaneous, ph

otographs)

- write more about important topics, with the possibility of submitting articles

- get back into collaging, but with more complex mediums

- make regular trips to the Salvation Army/Value Village and start altering clothing

- get downtown more often,

and do touristy things, as I feel slightly disconnected from my hometown

- spend way more time in the outdoors

- find unique volunteer opportunities

This list will definitely grow...

Relationships, work, and nostalgia

I haven't felt very motivated to post on my blog lately. Mainly because it's been a little stressful in the house, and I've been sick. The atmosphere of our house is really interesting, and sometimes I just like to sit back and observe. I feel like we have matured as individuals, but there are still some key factors that we lack. Many changes we have made are being disregarded, which is very discouraging for us. Rasheeda knew everything about us, as individuals and as a group. She saw us at our worst and at our best. She saw us change and evolve into the group we are now, and it feels like it's just all gone to waste because our project leader lives in a Katima-bubble.

My job is going very well, and it's been especially nice getting to know and work with Rachelle. I feel like I'm really doing something for the community, even if it's as little as taking care of their kids while they relax, or organizing a Spa Day for the mother's with Rachelle.

A young deaf girl came into my work last week, with only the clothing she was wearing (that she'd worn for 5 days). No jacket, no boots. It truly was heartbreaking to see her at such odds. I helped her find some warm clothing in our exchange downstairs, which she was incredibly grateful for. It really made me reflect on my privileges. I realize how much I have taken for granted.

It's really surprising how quickly relationships can change... how one minute your best friend becomes questionable, and the person you thought you hated turns out to be the one you can most confide in. And then there are those people who you don't know what to think about. At first, you can't imagine your life without them, and then you wonder how you can be friends with them. It's frustrating, feeling like you are out of control, but luckily my job makes me feel grounded in some way.

I don't regret doing Katimavik. We have a love/hate relationship, which I think is the case for everyone in this house.

halifax & lunenburg

We had an excursion to Halifax and Lunenburg on the weekend. I would say it was probably the best weekend I've ever had in Katimavik. We went to Halifax on the Saturday and went to the Brewery Market, where we saw all sorts of vendors, clothing and food. Then we went to the Pier 21 Museum, where just over a million people emigrated to Canada, and we went to the Atlantic Museum. We met the Spryfield group at the museum - not sure what I think of them, but one of the girl's is from Stittsville and she knows a guy I used to go to school with! Very small world. Then we went to the Halifax group's house for dinner and a walk into downtown. I absolutely love the people in their group. They are all so nice - I felt so comfortable with them, we became friends right away. Val and I will probably hang out with them when we go to Halifax this weekend.

On Sunday we took a drive to Lunenburg, which was such a beautiful little town. We walked around a little and went on one of the docks, and sat with our legs dangling over the water with the sun glaring down on us. It was such a serene moment. We all just sat there in silence and watched the water in the distance. Then some of us went to Subway for lunch, then we drove to Hirtle's Beach. The sight of that beach with the snow and sand and waves crashing was just breathtaking. It reminded me so much of Melbourne Beach, where my granny would take my mom and then my family started going.

It was such a relaxing weekend, and it was so nice to see more of Nova Scotia. I'm really excited for the last weekend of February, because Dan and I have been planning an excursion to PEI and Dieppe, New Brunswick. We will be staying with the old London group, which I'm good friends with!

the b'wats

I've been in Bridgewater, Nova Scotia for exactly 2 weeks now and am so far enjoying it very much, although it still doesn't feel home like Port Colborne did. My job is going well and I'm loving working with Rachelle, although I'm a little worried about when I'm alone there because there isn't much to do sometimes. It's been good working with her because we combine both of our ideas and can create little projects for ourselves. However, when the centre is busy it's very fun! I've discovered a love for working with children, especially with toddlers ages 3-4. The women I work with say I have a gift for children, which is really interesting because I would always say that I hate kids and they hate me. There is one boy at my work who has a lot of speech problems, so it's been interesting to interpret what he says and help him when he stumbles over a word. I've been reading a lot of speech therapy books and have been told that I can work with him. Rachelle and I finished putting together a personal wellness guide for the spa-day we're doing at our job for mothers to come and relax.

Yesterday we had an amazing workshop with Paul, our PSL (project support leader), about different types of diets and how they impact us and our environment. He used to be vegetarian, then was vegan, and now he eats meat again as long as it's organic and free-range. It was very interesting and definitely inspired me to learn more about what I'm eating and how it affects everyone else and myself. He also talked a lot about how soy products can be very harmful to the body, so I'm going to look into alternatives. I've been 100% vegetarian since mid-rotation in Port Colborne, so I'm very proud of myself for coming this far!

When Paul came yesterday night, we had a huge jam session. Matt played ukulele, Rachelle played violin, Dan played the tambourine, and I, Paul, and John played guitar. We played the song Wagon Wheel, and it was so much fun! So magical. I'll post pictures as soon as I get them.

B-WHAT? B-WAT!

Group #32137 arrived in Bridgewater, Nova Scotia at around noon, after leaving camp at 3am to catch a 7:15am flight. The first thing I noticed, stepping out of the airport, was the moist scent of water in the air. We met our bus driver and drove from Halifax to our house in Bridgewater.

So far, this town has treated us like royalty. In the first few days, we had a lovely woman give us a whole load of groceries (including pork chops, carrots, potatoes, and apple coffee cake!) Then her son came over and hung around for a bit, bringing us chocolate chip cookies!

On Thursday, our group did our work tours. Pretty much all of the work placements sounded amazing, but I lucked out and got my first choice at the Family Resource Centre. Basically the place is geared towards offering aid to at-risk single mothers. I'll be working in child care, and socializing with people who are waiting or need someone to talk to. I'm also working with Rachelle for a few days a week, which will be good for our relationship.

Today is my nineteenth birthday, as well! I woke up bright and early at 9am, helped with cutting onions/potatoes for our big breakfast. Then we did some workshops and activities with Matt and went bowling later on!

Last Friday night we volunteered from 6pm-10pm at the YMCA. The first two hours were spent playing games and running around with younger kids from 5 to 13, and the second two hours were spent working out in the workout room and playing basketball with the older kids. It was so much fun, and because of it we get monthly passes for only $10, and that gives us access to every room in the building, including any exercise classes. I hope to go do some yoga and zumba, and take full advantage of the pass. Katimavik is even paying for the first month for all 10 of us!

On the topic of Matt - what a cool project leader! I feel so motivated to learn and do things here, and I think he has something to do with that. He is so enthusiastic about environmental awareness and healthy living. His ideas for our common room are so creative, too. We have the "Good Karma Tree", which is basically a tree and you can write good things people have done for you on leaves and stick it on the tree. Then he has the "Katima-Firsts", which are clouds that you write firsts you've had in Katimavik and stick them on the ceiling. Then we have the "Goals Wall", which is split into two using tape. One side we stick all of the goals we want to accomplish here, and once you accomplish them you move them to the other side of the tape. We also have an "Environmental Awareness Contract", and each of the leaves represent one thing we want to do to help the environment, and when they are not being 'obeyed' we move the leaf outside the bigger leaf.

I'm very, very excited to be in the Maritimes. There are so many hills and so many cute little buildings to explore. Plus, we are right on a river, which we hiked around the other day in the snow (so beautiful, we saw deer!) My job is a good 30 minute walk from the house, up and down hills, so I should be in shape in no time!

Over and out.

closing time

We just finished having our closing ceremony. Rasheeda made a fort "cave" in the common room, and each gave us fake candles. She asked us questions to think about to reflect on our time here, and our regrets and disappointments, and after we all put the candles in the middle to signify leaving it behind and starting new in Nova Scotia. It was sad, but good too. We are all going out tonight on the town and walking around to our special spots. It's definitely hard thinking about leaving... we are all attached, not just to Port but the memories we made here. It is exciting to be leaving, and I'm excited for camp to see my friends from other groups, but it's definitely going to be hard... it's been such a great experience because I've never really had to move and say goodbye to a place where I've had so much growth.

It's not goodbye, it's see you soon.

resolutions and epiphanies

Our group has been at a divide for a while, mostly regarding a relationship in the group. I can acknowledge that this couple became an easy way to get out our group's frustrations. When something went wrong, it was so easy to turn it on them, and finally, for me personally anyway, we've come to a conclusion. Maybe not a conclusion, but a new beginning.

For a long time, I was always the person that would complain when something didn't go right, and do nothing to change it because I convinced myself there was someone else prohibiting me form doing so. I would argue, I would take things personally, no matter what the argument was about. I never really made an effort to understand where people were coming from, because I would be so stuck on my own opinion, even though I thought I was understanding.

Even in the first 3 months of Katimavik, I think I have made a huge personal transformation and I really see it in myself, and so do other people. I don't complain anymore, because I realize if there's nothing I can change, then why worry? And when there IS something I can change, instead of complaining, I change it. I really LISTEN to people now, and I really try my best to understand and clarify what they are saying.

To use a specific example, I always saw this couple as simply a couple, almost as a catalyst in the negativity our group has been experiencing. We, as a group, put them in a box and gave them a list of things they could and couldn't do. We had so many expectations, and these expectations chained them down. It was only yesterday, when I had a meeting with them, that I had my epiphany. Towards the end of the conversation, I saw them turn to each other and smile... and I started to cry. Not out of sadness or anger, but out of pure happiness for them. I stopped seeing them as this evil couple, and I saw them as two of my close friends in love.

My relationship with them, as a couple and as individuals, has done a complete 360.

Yesterday night, Val and I went out for a bit and had a long talk about everything. We talked about how I've changed, and how Val saw herself in me at the beginning of the program. We talked about Robyn and John, and about Rachelle and Phil, about everything.

I feel like, from as long as I can remember, I filled my life with negativity and it was my fault. I chose to hold on to that negativity inside me. We had a workshop with a man named Henry Wai and he told us something I will never forget. He told us that our life is like a glass of water. You can fill it up with negativity, or you can choose to pour some negativity out and make room for positivity. And when you choose to do that, do you learn HOW to improve your own life. I feel I have done that, and I have never felt so happy and proud of myself in a long time.

The difference between my group and other groups is that, despite our polar differences and arguments, we genuinely care about each other and about solving these problems. Otherwise, we wouldn't spend 5 hours (no exaggeration) at every meeting trying to solve our problems. I am beyond grateful and proud of my group, and I can't wait to see how we continue to progress through this program.

Not only have my personal realizations made my group living better, but I feel like I appreciate my family that much more. I feel like I've opened up my eyes, and can see clearer. I am so privileged to have them and their unending support for everything I do, and I hope I can give that back to them one day.